During my ongoing work with clients, I felt that trust issues are growing in people. But they are not able to recognize it or not take it seriously.
One common myth, people believe that trust issue only exists between close relationships or it is related to couples. That is not true. Someone can have a great trusting relationship with their spouse or anyone living with them but they may not be trusting anyone else out of their own circle. That is a Trust issue. People do not pay attention to this kind of trust issue because they believe that it is not impacting their life and they are not losing anything. But that is also not true.
Lack of trust could be towards anything, and anyone trying to be part of your life or coming close to you in some way. You are adamant and against any new energies. You are shut down, closed, fixated, opinionated, and basically fearful of anyone and anything out of your knowledge and comfort zone. All of that comes under Trust Issues!
Let us explore if you have trust issues. Sounds good? Ok, great, just look at this list and count on your fingers how many checks you got –
- You don’t feel (emotionally) safe with strangers and even those such as colleagues who are working with you for more than 3 months.
- You try to avoid meeting new people because you are afraid of becoming someone’s target.
- You try to avoid discussions and interactions in any social event (personal or work-related).
- You prefer to be a listener instead of a talker, even in safe situations such as a therapy room and meeting with friends.
- You see yourself having social anxiety, but still feeling comfortable with it.
- You find it difficult to connect to others and respond to them effortlessly, even if it is some casual discussion.
- You find it hard to trust even scientific information. You question it and look online for pieces of evidence against it.
- You are not a risk taker and find it hard to give product/services/idea even a try.
- When someone being nice and generous, you question their intention and integrity and right away dismiss them even if it is some professional and reliable resource. You are afraid that they are trying to fool you or take advantage of you someway.
- You are overcautious and over vigilant most of the time, as if everyone is on some mission to betray you.
- You hardly share your problems (small or big, personal or professional) with anyone. The reason could be anything – it is too small, it is insignificant, it will be useless to talk/share, nothing going to change, don’t want to burden them, don’t want to show myself as a weak person,, etc.
- You speak to please other people instead of speaking your truth. Additional caution is, not giving your information to them.
- You try to avoid eye contact. You are afraid that other people can see your reality or catch your secret in your eyes or try to win your heart and betray you later or you will fall in love with them.
- You have black-and-white thinking which means people are either super good or super bad. You believe that people only become nice when they need something from you. It can not be genuine and out of a good heart. Why would anyone be nice without any selfish motive?
So how many YES, have you got? If they are more than 3, you have trust issues!
Because you are not trusting yourself, not trusting others, not trusting scientific information, and not trusting professional resources. Your prime emotion is FEAR, INSECURITY, and LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Now some words and concepts often show up when you are going through any decision-making process, developing trust is a decision-making process. These words are – Judgement, Critical analysis, Risk assessment, Intuition. But you do not realize that these great concepts can get clouded by biases, past experiences, some kind of emotional health issue, and stereotypes. It may not be coming from your rational mind and you will not realize it because you are stuck in your own head, your own opinion, and your perspective.
As a result, you keep losing new opportunities, not opening for new energies and supportive hands which the universe was always sending your way. Lack of trust prevents you from using your free will, opening up for change, trying something new, and keeping you stuck in the same place. In other words, you are making a choice to keep living with the damage thrown at you by life or destiny.
You are not living your life to its full potential with an open heart when you are not trusting others around you. It is like you are living inside a pond not walking around the whole garden and enjoying it. You do not know how much and what you lost due to your locked heart, in other words, your trust issues.
Now can you see how damaging it is to keep living with Trust issues?
In my next post, I am going to address how to come out from the emotional trap of Trust Issues.……